unconditional love
Unconditional Love
There was a time in my life I became afraid to
fall in love. Because every time I fell in love,
I got hurt. I thought maybe that’s why it’s
called "falling" in love.
I would give my all, loving deeply and
wholeheartedly. It would be a truly emotional,
extremely euphoric experience. I would be
dreaming about the object of my affection all day
and all night, imagining good times together,
thinking of what I can do or buy for him/her to show
how much I care. I would feel light as a feather,
energized and excited, literally blooming with
the joy I feel inside.
Then somehow things would go wrong and my whole
world would crash. Disappointment. Resentment.
Anger. Pain. Why? Can we not love without feeling
pain? Is it really a price to pay for all the
happiness we feel when we are in love? Should we
just accept that because we love, we risk getting
hurt? It was only after many years of soul-
searching and reading inspirational writings that
I realized that we could love without getting
hurt. Only recently did I understand what
unconditional love is all about.
Love is one of the most powerful forces in the
universe. It is the fire that burns inside, the
essence of being. Love is the source of all our
comfort and contentment. It is a precious gift
that defines our purpose in life. If we keep in
mind that we can indeed preserve its true
meaning, we can love to the fullest and be happy
the rest of our lives.
Accept that other people express love
differently. How do you express love?
You say, "I love you" three times a day, kiss and embrace as
often as you can, you never forget anniversaries,
you always prepare his/her favorite dishes.
How does he/she express his love?
He/She rarely says I love you", he/she seldom kisses you, he/she forgets your birthday, and he/she doesn’t know how to cook. But he/she worked overtime, walks the dog, takes out the garbage,
and calls you "baby". He/She probably loves you more than you can imagine, he/she just shows it differently; if you can accept that then you will have a healthier perspective of your relationship. Derive happiness from giving love.
When you love, do it because you want to.
There is an indescribable joy in loving. Just give it.
And cherish satisfaction in having given someone
something of yourself. It’s like giving a gift.
Whether it is appreciated or not, find joy in
simply giving. Love without expecting anything in return.
This is where pain comes in.. When you
demand something in return for the love you give.
You are setting yourself up for disappointment
because love cannot always be reciprocal.
Love between two people can never be of the same
intensity at the same time and place. No matter
how much your partner loves you, she will never
be able to fill all your needs all the time. And
you will be in the worst situation if you believe
you should love only when you are sure to receive
equal love in return. You will be waiting in
misery forever. Love now.
The past is gone and the future is just a dream.
All of yesterday’s aches and pains, as well as
the loves and laughter, are mere memories.
Let them go.
Fantasies and worries are for a future that may
never come. Don’t dwell on them. Give now.
Give love now. Do I now and enjoy it now.
That is the secret of genuine contentment.
Throw away those destructive habits. When you insist upon yourself what you always have to be in control,
that you always have to be right, that others must always
please you, you put yourself in a very tight spot.
Loving relationships are flexible, dynamic, andevolving. Leave room for change and interaction.
Allow for new behavior and learning experiences.
When we welcome these into our lives, we open
ourselves to sharing more love and affection
and less frustration and pain.
Yes, you will say that unconditional love is
easier said than done. I agree. Especially when
we have always believed that love is give and
take. But try believing that love is simply
giving. And you will be surprised that a lot of
it, even more, actually comes back to you. We can
give without loving but we can’t express love
without giving.
"In life, love is never planned nor does it
happen for a reason.
But when the love is real,
it becomes your plan for life and your reason for living."
You can’t make someone love you. All you can do
is be someone who can be loved;
the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.
It’s better to lose your pride to the one you
love, than to lose the one you love because of pride.
We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.
